Aloha
When Hello becomes Goodbye6 total reviews
Comment from estory
This was interesting, more like a story or an epic saga. The voice had this chanting element to it, and the imagery was surreal, almost dream like, capturing all these roiling emotions of hope and pain and loss and desperation. I think it would make a great short story, or a great novella. You can develope the characters a bit more that way, get more sense of the dialogue between the characters and how this situation came to be, and the movement of the narrator from this irreconciled place to a place of resignation. estory
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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This was interesting, more like a story or an epic saga. The voice had this chanting element to it, and the imagery was surreal, almost dream like, capturing all these roiling emotions of hope and pain and loss and desperation. I think it would make a great short story, or a great novella. You can develope the characters a bit more that way, get more sense of the dialogue between the characters and how this situation came to be, and the movement of the narrator from this irreconciled place to a place of resignation. estory
Comment Written 27-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your thoughtful review.
Comment from EeanBlack
I have Never smiled through tears in my life until today. Truly a good poem for me. I can't give you advice on form at structure, but if reaching into a soul and pulling out an emotion worthy of praise, I can attest to that. I applaud. Bravo!
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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I have Never smiled through tears in my life until today. Truly a good poem for me. I can't give you advice on form at structure, but if reaching into a soul and pulling out an emotion worthy of praise, I can attest to that. I applaud. Bravo!
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was smiling through tears well writing it, tha k you for letting me know that it shined through.
Comment from gansach
This is a beautifully written poem, so personal and revealing. There is much here with which many can relate--trying to know yourself and be true to the person you are, but longing for a relationship that may not be best for what you need. Life and loss can be so confusing. I could feel the emotion and it touched my heart. Congratulations on this lovely piece. Best wishes!
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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This is a beautifully written poem, so personal and revealing. There is much here with which many can relate--trying to know yourself and be true to the person you are, but longing for a relationship that may not be best for what you need. Life and loss can be so confusing. I could feel the emotion and it touched my heart. Congratulations on this lovely piece. Best wishes!
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thank you!
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your writing is very powerful. For me it was a reflection of how a relationship has changed you. I thought you beautifully captured the process of letting go of the past while embracing the present and maybe even looking towards the future. Your poem was heartfelt - great job! I enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Your writing is very powerful. For me it was a reflection of how a relationship has changed you. I thought you beautifully captured the process of letting go of the past while embracing the present and maybe even looking towards the future. Your poem was heartfelt - great job! I enjoyed it.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2024
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Thank you Michael for your thoughtful review.
Comment from Chrissy710
Hi Violet , Wow you have poured both hearts out in this letter poem. I found it an interesting piece to read once I joined you and her together and found it quite sad
As well that neither of you could find the happiness you both needed
It seems you needed to write it all down as a cathartic exercise
But expressed nicely in free verse
Good luck with your future writings
Cheers Chris
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Hi Violet , Wow you have poured both hearts out in this letter poem. I found it an interesting piece to read once I joined you and her together and found it quite sad
As well that neither of you could find the happiness you both needed
It seems you needed to write it all down as a cathartic exercise
But expressed nicely in free verse
Good luck with your future writings
Cheers Chris
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thank you Chris
Comment from Douglas Goff
Well, well, well, Sincerely Me. This is an excellent Free Verse entry.
It was a bit long, but well-worth the read. It actually felt like more than one person was writing it, although, the theme of 'choice' permeated the piece.
Quite enjoyable.
D
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Well, well, well, Sincerely Me. This is an excellent Free Verse entry.
It was a bit long, but well-worth the read. It actually felt like more than one person was writing it, although, the theme of 'choice' permeated the piece.
Quite enjoyable.
D
Comment Written 25-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2024
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Thanks D
