At Home in Mississippi
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Lead-In to an Humble Beginning"Growing up in the 40 and 50 in MIssissippi
17 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I loved your poetic opening! And I'm so glad you are doing this book because I think you're the most interesting person of all your family. Just like you mentioned about growing up in a racially prejudiced state (and Hollywood agrees with you with movies like "Mississippi Burning"), you show us that you are not like that at all. You were always open minded, loved to travel and learn about different cultures. You will be doing the state a great service to write this book to help dispel the prejudice against the state! And all your ancestry research will come in handy as you write this. Best wishes in the contest!
Suggestions:
My mother, Lucille's, father (My mother's father) later on when you talk about your mother as the main subject, I think then you can mention her name (My mother, Lucille,)
Neither Lucille nor Glover's families (Lucille's)
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2024
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I loved your poetic opening! And I'm so glad you are doing this book because I think you're the most interesting person of all your family. Just like you mentioned about growing up in a racially prejudiced state (and Hollywood agrees with you with movies like "Mississippi Burning"), you show us that you are not like that at all. You were always open minded, loved to travel and learn about different cultures. You will be doing the state a great service to write this book to help dispel the prejudice against the state! And all your ancestry research will come in handy as you write this. Best wishes in the contest!
Suggestions:
My mother, Lucille's, father (My mother's father) later on when you talk about your mother as the main subject, I think then you can mention her name (My mother, Lucille,)
Neither Lucille nor Glover's families (Lucille's)
Comment Written 30-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2024
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Thank you Helen. I glad you liked the opening. A couple of other people liked it too but Karen said it wasn't exciting enough and sounded like reading statitics. Someone else said I should skip the first few paragraphs. You can't please everyone. LOL
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You're right that you can't please them all! 😊
Comment from Lisasview
Wow, weee...what a story and of course she well written...I see we are up for the same contest...you with well over 800 stories, me with only my first ever Chapter...
I really enjoyed your story and began your second chapter as well...
Both are quite long but I feel it gets the readers attention quickly.
I have time right now as I am recuperating in my recliner with ice on on swollen new knee...
I wish you best of luck in the contest.
Lisa
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2024
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Wow, weee...what a story and of course she well written...I see we are up for the same contest...you with well over 800 stories, me with only my first ever Chapter...
I really enjoyed your story and began your second chapter as well...
Both are quite long but I feel it gets the readers attention quickly.
I have time right now as I am recuperating in my recliner with ice on on swollen new knee...
I wish you best of luck in the contest.
Lisa
Comment Written 30-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2024
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You don't have much competition from me. The first chapter had to be long but I'm not expecting a win. I just challenged my self to do all of the contests to make myself write things I don't normally write. There to much background in the first store to make it a winner. Few will find it interesting.
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Oh I doubt that dearest Beth... Maybe other writers will not be interested... but the contest is going to be judged by the committee...
I feel I do not have a chance... as this is my first try...but we will see...
Lisa
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Well I won first place on my first ever and last I hope attempt to write a loop poem. Come to think of it, everthing I've ever won with the committee has been my first stab at it. So I think the like first chances. You should do well.
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Well I won first place on my first ever and last I hope attempt to write a loop poem. Come to think of it, everthing I've ever won with the committee has been my first stab at it. So I think the like first chances. You should do well.
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Thank you... that is very kind of you Beth
Lisa
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's always interesting to me to read about people's ancestors and what the went through, as back in those times, most everyone had to scuffle to succeed at anything. But I'm sure once little Beth came along it was all worth it. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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It's always interesting to me to read about people's ancestors and what the went through, as back in those times, most everyone had to scuffle to succeed at anything. But I'm sure once little Beth came along it was all worth it. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Thank you Ric, I'm not creative enough to write fiction. I know people must ber getting sick of hearing about me.
Beth
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Well, I can't imagine that anyone would ever get tired of reading your adventures. I certainly won't!
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I love hearing that but I don't think my writing is anything special. I just enjoy doing it and keep me out of trouble.
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Writing is fun. And from what I remember, trouble is better. :-)
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
You need some action and dialogue. Otherwise, it ends up looking like it came from an old encyclopedia.
The story has good information and facts, but we need to see heart too. Ebenezer, for instance had a ton of jobs, talk about some of them. Perhaps a story about your Grandma thought he was kind of stuck up and had little interest in him, until one day he was shoeing a horse, and it kicked him into a muddy water pool in the street, and he started laughing his ass off. They were married 6 months later. Stuff like that as an example. Spice it up a bit. I will keep reading. Karen
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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You need some action and dialogue. Otherwise, it ends up looking like it came from an old encyclopedia.
The story has good information and facts, but we need to see heart too. Ebenezer, for instance had a ton of jobs, talk about some of them. Perhaps a story about your Grandma thought he was kind of stuck up and had little interest in him, until one day he was shoeing a horse, and it kicked him into a muddy water pool in the street, and he started laughing his ass off. They were married 6 months later. Stuff like that as an example. Spice it up a bit. I will keep reading. Karen
Comment Written 29-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Thank Karen, You'll like the second chapter. It is almost all dialogue and most of the others will be as well. I chose to make this chapter
a background setting for the rest of the story.
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Okay, I'll pull my foot out of my mouth now. You'll like this:
I am thinking about writing a contest called" Let's kill Karen" you can kill me with kindness, roll me over with a steam roller, have me fighting with my support hose and tumbling down the stairs, but it must make me laugh.
I have mentioned it to others and they said they would be happy to kill me. Is that a bad thing? Karen
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No foot in mouth. I see your point. Some might not read further, if the book doesn'r start of lively.
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I will be starting the contest soon. But I will give folks month. Karen
Comment from jim vecchio
This could only be awarded with six stars. A magnificent beginning to a family saga! Knowing you, future chapters will be of no less quality. The slavery issue was handle well. Too bad we don't have private time machines. The best we have to seed for ourselves are certain old silent movies up to movies like "Gone With the Wind." There were some good things that happened with the slaves, but not enough to justify the demeaning of a race.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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This could only be awarded with six stars. A magnificent beginning to a family saga! Knowing you, future chapters will be of no less quality. The slavery issue was handle well. Too bad we don't have private time machines. The best we have to seed for ourselves are certain old silent movies up to movies like "Gone With the Wind." There were some good things that happened with the slaves, but not enough to justify the demeaning of a race.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Thank you Jim, You are so kind to say such nice things about my writing. I'm just a relic from a past age. I thought maybe younger people might want to know what it used to be like. I really appreciate the six stars.
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If you're a relic than I'm relicer! I always appreciate the quality of your writing!
Comment from Wendy G
This will be a good introductory chapter for your books about your family.
There is one little bit in smaller font (see below) which you might want to edit. My daughter too is very interested in ancestry, and is back into the 1700s. Very interesting to learn about the lives of one's forebears.
Wendy
Lucille was disappointed they wouldn't be moving to Knoxville. She had always wanted to live near the mountains. She had seen the Appalachian Mountains ...
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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This will be a good introductory chapter for your books about your family.
There is one little bit in smaller font (see below) which you might want to edit. My daughter too is very interested in ancestry, and is back into the 1700s. Very interesting to learn about the lives of one's forebears.
Wendy
Lucille was disappointed they wouldn't be moving to Knoxville. She had always wanted to live near the mountains. She had seen the Appalachian Mountains ...
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2024
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Thank you Wendy. I believe I had already made those corrections but I appreciate you pointing them out.
Beth
Comment from patcelaw
This is a very well written chapter for your book. I wish you the very best and the first chap I hope that you have a wonderful wonderful week and may you have success with writing your book. Patricia.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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This is a very well written chapter for your book. I wish you the very best and the first chap I hope that you have a wonderful wonderful week and may you have success with writing your book. Patricia.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the review. I hope you have a wonderful weekend as well. I running behind trying to catch up with reviewing.
Comment from royowen
I love the fact that your recollection for the past generations is highly detailed, while I think that Elaine and mine is marred by great blanks that can't be filled in, there are some aspects of ours that have no answers to them, beautifully written Beth, blessings Roy
Typo : My mother, Lucille's father?!? 2: Glover had ever(y) intention
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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I love the fact that your recollection for the past generations is highly detailed, while I think that Elaine and mine is marred by great blanks that can't be filled in, there are some aspects of ours that have no answers to them, beautifully written Beth, blessings Roy
Typo : My mother, Lucille's father?!? 2: Glover had ever(y) intention
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you Roy. I appreciate you noticing the two glitches. I found out quite a lot about my family thought Ancestry. I don't think I found it so interesting when I was younger.
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I think we like to see where we come from
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
It was good to learn about your ancestry her Beth and particularly about your Mother. Mississippi sounds like a place with a history of troubles that still exist today. I enjoyed your epic first chapter, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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It was good to learn about your ancestry her Beth and particularly about your Mother. Mississippi sounds like a place with a history of troubles that still exist today. I enjoyed your epic first chapter, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you Dolly. Unfortunately Mississippi has been a hotbed of racial strife for generations. I've been away from there for a lot years but I'm sure all the problem aren't completely illuminated.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is such an interesting family tree and I'm amazed that you have so much detail. Your interest in genealogy is very impressive. My problem with this is keeping up with all the relatives and, sadly, I found my head swimming after a while. I know there must be a word count for this contest but, ideally, I would have preferred this type of subject matter shorter so that all the detail might be better absorbed. That said, a well expressed and interesting write, as usual. "My paternal grandparent(s)..." Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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This is such an interesting family tree and I'm amazed that you have so much detail. Your interest in genealogy is very impressive. My problem with this is keeping up with all the relatives and, sadly, I found my head swimming after a while. I know there must be a word count for this contest but, ideally, I would have preferred this type of subject matter shorter so that all the detail might be better absorbed. That said, a well expressed and interesting write, as usual. "My paternal grandparent(s)..." Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 28-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2024
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Thank you Debbie. I never post anything that long unless there has to be a word count. Unfortunately this one called for at least 2000 and kept it close to that. Future chapter will be much shorter and will me limited to the mention of only two or three people. Thanks for bearing with me on this one. I only mentioned my mother and father's family but I suppose that was too many names.
